Remember in school when you worked really hard on a project and you were not so patiently waiting for the teacher to come back with your grade? Yup, I was that kid. I was proud of my hard work and wanted that approval in the form of an A. My anxiety levels always kept me moving around in my desk and in general being a pest asking if the grades were done yet. Then when I did get my grade, the world was ending if I got anything lower than a C. I did not take rejection well. Now I stand before you to say loud and proud that I am so much better about all of this. Most of this. Part of this. *Hanging my head in shame* Okay, I still have issues, but being the awesome adult that I am I hide it much better.
I sent my book out to some Beta readers last week. Much like that silly 3rd grader with her project from foam balls, wire and string I am proud of my work. It is not perfect by any means, but that I why we have Beta readers and those lovely editors, who are sometimes scarier than teachers with a red pen. Now it is just the waiting game. Luckily, I am in contact with one of my Beta readers constantly because she is related to me, and I get small words of encouragement here and there as she goes. Am I still fidgety? The answer to that is a resounding YES! I try to fill my time where I can. I am posting on social media more to get my name out there and gain more of a following. I have brainstormed ideas for marketing when the book does release. Meanwhile, my phone battery is dying a quick death from refreshing emails and trying to distract myself. Added into all this is that I passed a phone interview to go to the next round of interviews for a new position in my company. So don't mind me, I have just turned into a twitchy bundle of nerves.
Proudly, I can say I have taken negative feedback much better over the past few years. My current manager has even said that one of my strengths is taking feedback in a positive manner. Let's just ignore the part when I come home and open a tub of ice cream and eat it directly with a spoon. This is a giant leap beyond the tears and tunneling under blankets hoping to hide from rejection. It actually took me being in a manager role and having to give feedback to others to understand it really isn't personal, and you just want the other person to learn from their mistakes. Look at that... personal growth!
This is me patiently waiting. Please disregard my constant leg shaking, clock watching and refreshing of my screens.